Check out our range of fantastic downloadable 'SAFETY' resources below... |
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If you think others would benefit from these resources then pay it forward by sharing them using the links below...
The abusive practices checklistSo what behaviours are OK?
Digging deeper and having a closer look into abusive practices can be really helpful for some men to identify exactly what types of behaviours are 'not OK'. Click here to read the post or download the 'Abusive practice checklist' below... |
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An EQUALITY and RESPECT checklist for menTo develop and maintain a truly intimate relationship requires you to see the other person as different but equal. This is an on-going struggle in the best of relationships and reflects the nature of close relationships.
Click here to read the post or download the 'Equality and Respect checklist for men' below... |
How do you know whether you're a victim or someone that is abusive?So how do you know if you are... A victim yourself? And/or Someone who is abusive within their relationship?
One way to find out is to take one or both of the following questionnaires... 'How am I treated in my relationship?' and 'How do I treat my partner in our relationship?' Download a copy of each questionnaire below... |
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Creating a safer environment for change by using 'Time out'"Safety first” is a good concept. Many men find the idea of ‘time out’ useful as the most effective and immediate way of ensuring safety. Time out creates a safe zone for everyone and gives you time to sort out what is going on for you.
Click here to read the post or download the 'Time out guidelines' below... |
3 Keywords for a good relationshipSAFETY - EQUALITY - RESPECT
Safety... To live safely with someone means keeping them safe from all insults, threats and violence, no matter what they do or say to us. Click here to read the post or download the '3 keywords for a good relationship' below... |
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Men’s emotions and the ‘Old rule book’Very early on men learn not to express the strong basic emotions of fear, sadness, or shame, because of many experiences of being ridiculed if they did.
How many times have you been told ‘Don’t be a girl’ or something similar if you acted in a ‘non-male’ way or showed any of your gentler emotions? Click here to read the post or download the 'Men's emotions and the 'Old rule book' below... |
Respectful communication guidelinesTo embrace these new ways of being with others will make a huge difference to your own sense of self, as well as to how others perceive you.
Here you will find some specific ways to relate to others more respectfully. Click here to read the post or download the 'Respectful communication guidelines' below... |
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Resigning from the 'Abuse Club'Have you had enough? Is it time to put abuse behind you, or do you want to keep your options open? You have found that the reasons for belonging to the ‘Abuse Club’ are no longer valid. You had little choice about joining - membership is free when you are born male - but you can make the decision to resign now that you are an adult.
Click here to read the post or download the 'Resigning from the 'Abuse Club' below... |
Receiving criticism without overreactingWhat would be the implications of the following belief that men often hold...? "My partner has no right to criticise me!"
The thinking behind this is usually that ‘she has faults, so how does she have a right to criticise me’? Is there anyone who is truly above criticism, who can walk on water and always does the right thing? How will we know what to change unless we are willing to hear criticism? Click here to read the post or download the 'Receiving criticism without overreacting' below... |
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The 'Respect Test' for men in relationshipsThis is a question you can ask about any interaction between people… “Does this interaction build or lessen respect, safety and trust for this person, or does it demean them in some way?”
Abusive behaviour is clearly at the expense of others, whereas respectful behaviour enhances all concerned. Click here to read the post or download the 'The 'Respect Test' for men in relationships' below... |
Unhealthy ways to express emotionThink of four animals for a moment - a turtle, a shark, a fox and an owl…
The turtle withdraws into its shell when the heat is on, not reappearing until the situation is safe. The shark will circle a couple of times and go in for the kill. The fox has a natural ability to strategise, taking its time to stalk its prey and waiting for the right moment to attack. The owl is perceived as wise, weighing up the situation from all sides. Click here to read the post or download the 'Unhealthy ways to express emotion' below... |
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