Are ABUSE and VIOLENCE always a choice?

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Violence and abuse do not just happen!

They are always, every time, choices we make. To test this, try the following True/False questionnaire…

• T/F - Abusive words just pour uncontrollably out of my mouth
• T/F - My hand just shoots out and hits, sometimes, without my making any decision about it
• T/F - When my partner yells angrily I automatically do the same back
• T/F - When my partner shoves me, I can’t help shoving or hitting her
• T/F - When I think my partner is lying to me I spontaneously abuse her
• T/F - When another driver honks at me I have to give them the fingers
• T/F - When I am drinking, the glass lifts itself to my mouth and tips its contents down my throat
• T/F - Because my father or mother were violent and abusive, I have no choice but to repeat their pattern of behaviour
• T/F - Using fear, insults and physical force is a natural part of me that I can’t help
• T/F - Although these examples are all ‘False’ I can find other examples of times when my abuse/violence is NOT a choice

So what do you think? Are abuse and violence always a matter of choice or not?