So what behaviours are OK?
Digging deeper and having a closer look into abusive practices can be really helpful for some men to identify exactly what types of behaviours are 'not OK'.
Work through the following list of behaviours from the 'abusive practices checklist' and consider the behaviours that you've carried out.
Abusive practices checklist
Consider the behaviours you've identified. They describe the abusive things you've done. Many men find it hard to own up to the types and the range of abusive behaviour they carry out.
You may be aware that you don’t have to be angry to carry out any of the behaviours you ticked above. Men tell me that, although they can say they are angry, in reality they carry out many of these behaviours without even getting aroused.
It's when people (people like you) refuse the invitation to play along with the abusive practices that we will start to engage in a process of change and as a result live happier, safer lives.
To make more sense of the 'Abusive practices checklist' check out the 'She'll be sweet' post here... and complete the reflection activity...
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Ken McMaster (MSW Hons, CQSW, MANZASW) has a thirty year history working at the cutting edge of intervention work with men who are violent and who sexually abuse.
Suzi Hall (M.A. Psych) has a background of working in child protection and forensic interviewing of children with Child Youth and Family Services.
Matt Williams (BTcLn, NCALNE) has a 15 year history working within the social service and criminal justice sectors as a trainer and program developer.