The impact of men’s abuse on women

Roimatas story from Ken McMaster on Vimeo.

​Click the play button if you would rather have this post read...

---

Most men grow up with this crazy idea that everyone, partners and children included, shares the same views of the world as them.

It is hard to risk stepping outside of our ‘manly’ culture to see what things are like from other people’s perspectives or cultures – in this case the perspective and culture of women.

To prove this point simply ask yourself the following question...

“Would you put up with your behaviour if you were on the receiving end of it?”

Unanimously, men respond, “No way!” Yet men have a sense of entitlement, a belief that others can live with and accept the effects of their unacceptable behaviour. The people on the receiving end, the victim or victims, often have feelings of being trapped and will often try a range of strategies to cope with the abuse.

Lee Bowker lists the ways women try to keep themselves safe…

• Trying to talk their husbands out of further beatings
• Extracting promises to end the abuse
• Threatening some sort of non-violent action, such as contacting the police or filing for divorce
• Hiding or escaping during the beatings
• Using passive defences to protect themselves as much as possible from serious injury
• Avoiding their husbands during periods of high potential for violence (e.g. when they are drinking or under stress)
• Fighting back

Reflection activity
Watch the media clip above and answer the following questions...

• Which of Lee's ideas did you see come through in the media above?
• In what ways could you relate to either the story or the woman's messages?
• What are you now thinking in terms of 'what you want to do differently' in your relationships?